My Bucket List 2020 (An Ode To Scream-Laughing)

As productive as 2019 has been in terms of work, getting the ol’ career prospect on the right track, work, getting my name out there, work and more work; one semi-deep regret of mine has begun to increasingly stand out, like two plums at a prune wedding. I can only remember scream-laughing ­once over the last three-hundred-and-sixty-two days.

Out of all the bodily – particularly verbal noises to emanate from me over my last twenty-one years on Earth, the scream-laugh has got to be my favourite. It’s a rare and beautiful phenomenon which encapsulates everything unique about a truly guttural laughing fit. The scream-laugh is ugly, unflinching, uncensored, undignified; yet one of the most joyous emotions I’ve ever experienced.

It’s like, you start to laugh, but that laugh is so deeply rooted at the pit of your stomach that not a trace of noise; not a wheeze, a snicker or a splutter, deigns to escape through your gaping mouth. Your tear ducts start to fizz up and sting, like the one time I ran out of glitter eyeliner and thought nail varnish would be an adequate replacement, until your cheeks are sopping wet with the beginnings of that escaped happiness. Your sinuses soon follow suit, leaking the remains of the teardrops’ cousin onto your leopard-print shirt. Every inch of muscle within your body proceeds to contract; from your scrunched face, to your balled-up diaphragm, and finally affecting the curled-up knuckles of your toes. It’s a deathly ache, but you stay complacent. This could only be the best way to die if so. You muster up what little strength you have in order to externalise this feeling; you know it has to end in one way or another! You take a deep breath, and push it out with every sinew of your body until what finally escapes your mouth is a high-pitched scream. Followed by snorts. Followed by rich, melodious laughter.

If I could choose just one fulfilling experience in the coming new year, it’d be to laugh, and scream-laugh, as much as I physically can.

Bucket List 2020

1. Complete the 30-day yoga challenge

2. Go shopping at a vintage market

3. Go for another road-trip with my friends

4. Have more nights out with my boyfriend; and favourite person to go clubbing with

5. Get into travel blogging

6. Buy a camera

7. Keep track of my scrapbook; print photos often!

8. A biggie… get my first tattoo

9. Learn a new language

10. Have at least 10 guilt-free chill days within the first six months of the new year. Work is BANNED!

11. Now that Vaginismus has been conquered… I’m ready to have a LOT more sex.

12. Try three new types of food in three new countries

13. Enjoy more fun days out over messy nights out

14. Scream-laugh at least a handful of times!

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